My co-worker became a grandma today for the second time. Her first grandson is two and a half. Her daughter and son in law live in Missouri about an eight hour trip from Watertown. She has only seen her grandson two times since he was born. She will not be seeing her new grandaughter any time soon either. I am not sure why she doesn't just hop in the car with her husband and go down there for a chance to hold that new baby and catch up on her grandson. When I told her to go visit, she said it is too expensive, too far, no place to stay, etc.
Now if it were me and I became a grandma today, I would be in that car with John heading down to meet the little baby, but that is just me. Just like John and I will be waiting in the Appleton airport for our next little grandchild to step off that plane, no matter what time of day. I would never let money stop me, Money has never stopped me from doing something that I really want to do. Even with John's lay offs, when we had to tighten our belts, we still did things without worrying about the money.
My co-worker will be the first to admit that she and her daughter do not have a close relationshiop and perhaps this has something to do with her lack of involvement in her grandchildren's lives. I feel so fortunate that I have such a nice relationship with both my girls. It has only gotten stronger over the years. If and when Alissa and Nathan have a baby, they will be living three and a half hours away in Bloomington and neither hell nor high water will keep me away. (That's right, Alissa, I will be there often) I want a nice relationship with my grandchild(ren). No absentee grandparenting for this grandma.
Today as my co-worker and I were chatting she told me that she is envious of my being a real grandma who knows her grandaughter. This just as I was feeling a bit envious of what it must feel like to know your daughter just gave birth to a baby of her own. (You know how strongly I feel about adoption, so this is just something I think I might like to experience, but if I don't that is fine.) Anyway after she said that I did stop and think how Tizita and I have developed a strong Grandma/Grandchild relationship. It was slow going at first when she was bonding with Courtney and Paul and we were only allowed short visits with little contact, but once we got over that period, I worked hard on building my relationship with Tiz. Now I can look at her and just know how close she and I are. We share many special bonds, but it has taken patience and work and lots of time. I could not have achieved this from a long distance unless I made the effort to visit often and that is not always possible when long distances are involved, but I sure as heck would have been there more than once a year!
I am hoping I can still convince my co-worker to go for a visit. It is not too late for her to start building that special bond.
Note to my new grandchild whoever you may be: I cannot wait to meet you and begin building a nice grandma/grandchild relationship with you, too. I suppose we will have to go slow at first, but don't worry I am pretty good at this grandma thing by now and it won't take us long to bond. Hurry home little one, I have some grandma hugs waiting for you!
2 comments:
I, too, understand the need for fiscal responsibility, but this is a grandchild and it's only money. God gives us incomes to manage, but some management needs to include foregoing some other things to see a grandchild.
I, too, feel fortunate for the proximity of our only granchild. Even 3 hours is a bucket drop. 8 hours would be a sinch as well, though, agreed, a larger exspense, but still well worth it.
Keep working on her.
I agree Sherri. I don't think any amount of money or distance should keep a grandparent away from their grandchildren. Where there is a will, there is a way to make it happen even if times are tight. You can really see the special relationship you have with TIZ through your posts on this blog and I can't wait to see your next grandchild in the mix too.
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