A Tribute to my MIL MaryAnn Damman

My Mother in Law, MaryAnn Damman passed away early on Saturday morning. She had been diagnosed with cancer about a month ago and had spent only seven hours in Hospice care. A quick, for the most part painless death, a blessing.




The one who will suffer most in this is her husband, my Father in Law, Jack. He has been in a care center for over a year with some type of disease, originally mistaken for Parkinson's, but recently the cause of all his issues, unknown. MaryAnn visited him faithfully every single day until she got too sick to go. She went at the same time every single day and fed him his lunch. Her dedication and love for this man was inmeasurable and his for her. He will miss her dearly and I predict he will follow her soon. (I may be wrong here since I do not know God's perfect plan, just a feeling)
The last time we saw her she was inpatient in the same care center. She was in excellent spirits and we left feeling good about the visit. I will be holding on to that memory of her.




I was putting together a collage of pictures to use at the funeral. I felt like it was something I could do for her, my last gift to her, so to speak. In looking through all of my pictures, which by the way need to be organized in some manner to make these searches easier. Remember this is before the days of computers, so I have about a hundred photo albums and the task is time consuming to say the least.




I found so many photos of MaryAnn smiling, laughing, having a great time with her family. She lived a great life, God had blessed her with opportunities that some of us will never have. It made me feel good to know that she had enjoyed life so much.




In recent years, we have distanced ourselves from John's family, not for any particular reason. I guess it was just that our lives got busy. We still did the big holidays and birthdays, but did not visit like we did when the girls were little. I was thankful to go back to relive some of those happy memories from the good, old days. It made me remember how much fun we had with his family as the girls were growing up.




MaryAnn liked to be in control, much like I do and two controllers often don't go well together. Sometimes I didn't like how she made me feel when we chose not to celebrate at the exact time she wanted us to be there celebrating. She never let go of a grudge. I don't mean to be speaking ill of the dead here, just honest about my feelings. I think at some point she made her bed and as the years went on she had to lie in it. I am happy to say that I never told her how I felt and our relationship was always a friendly one. She was very generous with monetary gifts and never missed a chance to give gifts. She was a great cook and enjoyed making elaborate dinners for her guests. I fear a few of her favorite recipes have gone with her.


There, those are my thoughts on the passing of my Mother in Law. I believe she is in a better place although she did not speak of any faith she may have had. I know she grew up in a Catholic home and I like to believe you never really lose that.


The funeral is on Friday and after that I may have a much gentler, kinder feeling. We shall see.